Breakfast of Champions

It just so happens I am an expert omelet maker. I learned to make them from my step-dad, who by the way is Mexican. If you have never had the good luck to have a Mexican cook for you, you are really missing out. The things they can do with steak and cornmeal is unreal. Anyway, I am really into omelets. Some tricks of the trade:

1. Buy a tiny skillet. 6 inches or so. If you are trying to make an omelet in anything larger you will either end up with crepes or scrambled eggs...all over your face. What is a boy to do? A boy should invest in a little skillet.

2. Use whole eggs, not just the whites. Unless you're medically restricted, then quit being a pussy and eat the whole egg.

3. Fry it in butter. Whoa! Don't freak out on me. All good things in moderation. In the book "French Women Don't Get Fat", Guiliano says butter is a decadent rich necessity. Use it sparingly and enjoy richer food. Truth is fat makes food taste better. If you eat better tasting food, you will be more satisfied. Don't DON'T fry it in margarine or any other synthetic crap. A good rule to live by is anything they ate before electricity was invented, is good to eat. Just use half a tablespoon or less and you'll be fine.

4. Dress up your omelet when you're done. If you went western style, put some guacamole and salsa on it. If you went Greek, sprinkle feta and pesto. Maybe you made a vegetarian omelet? Go ahead and crumble some bacon on it to make it suck less.

I like to have an omelet for breakfast because they are high in protein, under 300 calories, a good way to get veggies into your breakfast, and they are so yummy.

Unfortunately, I don't always have time to chop vegetables, beat eggs, and watch cheese melt. I am a busy girl. I normally wake up at 4:30 a.m. (this is a true story) and get in a work out. Then I have to get cleaned up and ready for work, get my toddler up and ready for child care, and then hit the road for a short commute.

Breakfast is extremely important to me, but I like to go into a morning workout fasting. I've heard that is a good plan for optimal calorie/fat burning, but more importantly, my workouts are typically high impact, and I would get sick on a full stomach. So, what types of foods do I eat when I am on the run?

I like Chobani Greek yogurt. It is a little high in sugar, but it is also high in protein, convenient, good tasting, and in vogue to eat. I like to keep my diet fashionable, ya know?

I may have a packet of instant sugar free oat meal in a coffee mug with half a cup of unsweetened almond milk.

Some days I will even eat a Luna fiber bar. I don't like to over indulge in meal replacements, but I like these with my coffee.

Good Gawd. How did I forget coffee? I drink 1 and a half cups a day with 3 tablespoons of sugar free creamer. My morning routine is exercise with a liter of water and breakfast with a thermos of coffee. If either gets interrupted, I can get pretty cranky.

OK. To recap, this blog is to remind you to eat breakfast everyday. I aim to keep mine around 300 calories, and because I eat after a workout, I try to keep it high protein. If I do have a more carby breakfast, I make sure it is fiber dense.

It is also to show you how freaking good an omelet made by yours truly looks. This one is pre garnishments so you could appreciate it in its natural form. 

I also wanted to show off a new picture of me! I know I didn't update my weigh in Friday. I was down .2 lbs. So, yeah, I had a loss, but I didn't have much to say about it. Then I did my measurements on Tuesday since it had been 4 weeks since the new year started. I had one tiny half inch loss. Wanna guess where it came from? MY BRA! What a bummer. So, I was feeling a little butt hurt about my results and decided retail therapy would cheer me up. It sure did. I look so skinny! So, the scale and the measuring tape can stuff it. I'm still pretty confident I'll be in the 170's by February 1st.

Tell me, what do YOU eat for breakfast?

The Biggest Loser

Today I want to talk about mine and P. Diddy's favorite show: The Biggest Loser. Now I don't watch a lot of television. In fact, I don't even have basic cable, and I haven't had full cable since I lived with my parents back in 2006. I think watching television makes people stupid, fat, and boring.

My humble opinion is that if you are spending a few hours a day sitting in front of the boob tube, you are wasting your life and making your ass wider. Ugh! No wonder you "don't have time" to cook your own meals or fit in a work out. What about the 60+ dollars a month you are paying to watch this crap? That shit adds up quick. Don't even get me started on the declination of America's youth in relation to electronic babysitters --no, I digress.

This post is about a show I do watch. I like Biggest Loser because it inspires me. I really believe there is nothing better to work out to. That's right, I stream the episodes on my smart phone using the NBC app. It is free and super user friendly. Then I can watch it at the gym.

When I am on my treadmill watching these morbidly obese people on their treadmills, I can't stop. If this guy can keep going at 300 lbs, then what is my excuse? And I sure as hell am not gonna touch the arm rests because I don't want to incur the wrath of Jillian.

Please don't be ignorant and try to tell me that the show exploits fat people. How? Cause it is a game show where people can be voted off based on popularity even though they're slowly dying from out of control diabetes? Or cause they will show the same clip of a contestant falling down and rolling on the floor like a flipped turtle 1,000 times? Or because they regularly are forced to participate in "temptations" where they have to binge eat junk food for prizes? Ummmmm.... Yeah. There are some aspects of the show that suck.

Nevertheless, in the 14 seasons the show has been airing, hundreds of contestants have lost thousands of pounds. Millions of viewers have gotten motivated to take up the Biggest Loser challenge, myself included.

I love how the shows tries to get to the root of why people are fat. These people start talking about their pasts and their feelings. Lord. I LOVE feelings. I appreciate that this mainstream show is saying, "Look, fat people aren't all lazy idiots who can't quit shoveling burritos down their throats. They've got issues. There is a lot going on in their chubby little hearts that has to get sorted".

It isn't too late to start following this season. Go ahead and cancel your tv subscription, and stream it from NBC.

My tip for the day: limit how much tv you are watching. Did you know you don't have to watch it every day? Don't eat in front of the tv. Don't watch tv right before bed or when you're trying to sleep. Don't leave it on for background noise. If you are going to watch, watch it online, you shouldn't waste one more second than you have to on commercials.

Exceptions to my television policies:
I watch tv at the gym
Women who are nursing should watch loads of tv.
Having "a show" that you watch with a group of friends or your family can be fun. If you are under the influence of drugs, you may as well turn on the tv, melt into the couch, and stay the hell out of the kitchen.

Fridays weigh in #2

This morning I had a great weigh in. I am down to 181.2. I am so close to the 170s I can taste it.
I did lose a lot of weight this week, but so help me, I will find you and fight you if you say anything negative about losing 3.2 pounds in a week.
Truth is, 3 days this week I went marginally over my calorie goal. I ate out at a Mexican restaurant. I had some cookies and a slice of cheesecake. Last night I had 15 oz of wine right before bed.

BUT!

I also wrote down everything I was eating, and the days I went over, it was just by a little. I'm over my cold this week and brought renewed intensity to my workouts. I worked out 5 days, but hit about 8 hours. Plus we bought a ping pong table, and table tennis will make you sweat.

I didn't expect to have such a successful week, but looking back I know I earned it.

If you want to get fit- go exercise! I felt so healthy and awesome this morning after my weigh in, I went and did a 4 mile run.

After my run, I went into the locker room to collect my things. Then I saw myself in the mirror and, with total disregard to multiple posted signs prohibiting photography, took a quick pic of myself. Thought I'd show you what I mean by cute gym clothes.

Charting Progress

Today I have an accountability tip for you! Think about the fundamentals of your weight loss how you are going to achieve your weight loss goal, refer to the five golden rules I posted previously. Each of those items are steps in the process, steps that I had to turn into habits. This is one of the techniques I used to make working out a habit. This is how I keep myself accountable to the amount of exercise I do.
Also, this strategy is something I picked up from actor comedian Jerry Seinfeld. So, if you're done looking like an ugly baby, or want to slim down your man hands; get a calendar. A real one, made of paper for some tactile/visual cognition. Sorry Far Side, this cant be of the day by day variety, you'll need to view the whole month. Put it somewhere you will see it every day. I keep mine posted next to my desk at work where it serves the dual function of showing the date.
Every day I exercise I put a bright pink dot on the date. This way, at the end of the month, I should have this pretty bedazzled calendar that charts my progress. I look forward to dotting my calendar, and it is pretty noticeable when I've missed too many workouts. It is a subtle display of my achievements- until a co-worker stops by, and I point at it and say, "See all those pink dots? Those are all the days I've killed it at the gym!".

Make yourself aware of what you're doing, and reflect frequently on what you've done.

Friday's Weigh In

It has been too long since I've updated. I am super committed to this blog project, but the wireless Internet is out at my house. I have been to the library twice this week- both times it was closed. Today I was waiting on the maintenance man to appear and solve my problems, when my dear blogger friend James (http://survivalpunk.com/) told me I had to update, and I should just use my smart phone. At first I wanted to protest about how long it would take to type out without a proper keyboard, but frankly, I do an obscene amount of texting and a 300 word blog is merely a drop in the bucket.

For the record, I did write this post on Friday. You see, I believe when you are trying to lose weight you should weigh in once a week on the same week day and at the same time. I strategically chose Friday mornings because friday thru Sunday is when I am most susceptible to eating out and drinking alcohol. God forbid, I may even miss a workout (author's note- this particular weekend I did all of those wicked things, thankful I don't have a Monday morning weigh in).

So, I woke up this morning, drug myself out of bed, and used the restroom. I like to do a lot of pregaming before a weigh in. Definitely gonna use the restroom, probably gonna go ahead and shave, and may trim my nails. Listen, all I'm saying is every dead skin cell I can scrape off me at the last minute, I will. Weigh ins make me anxious and stressed. Not at all how anyone should feel ever, but the real truth of the matter is that it does. That is why you should never never weigh yourself everyday. It makes you crazy.

So after my little rituals, I get out the scale and gingerly tap it to turn on. I like to step on and say a prayer. I have to pray that I have lost weight. I also pray that if I didn't lose weight I will not go off the deep end. Finally, the screen lights up. I weighed in at 184.8.

Fuck.

In 11 days I had only lost 2.2 pounds.Why is this such a bummer for me? Because I was at 185 pounds the week before Christmas, so if your using crazy girl math, I'm really only down .2 pounds. Secondly, I try to lose 2 pounds a week. 11 days (in crazy girl math) is basically two weeks. So, I am 1.8 pounds fatter than I should be (logic is still crazy, but that was regular math). I am bummed because I worked out really aggressively: about an hour and a half all 11 days. I kept my food journal every day and drank water every day. Why am I not a bazilillion pounds lighter already?

I have to step off the scale and try to make myself be rational. I did start my monthly cycle a few days ago. I also got pharyngitis, so I was producing a lot of snot that was sitting in my belly. I don't know the mass of snot, but I know it weighs something because I could feel it sitting there. Finally, I had to get out my calculator. Lets see here. 11 over 2.2 and times that by 7...and eureka! I had averaged .2 pounds a day which is 1.4 pounds a week. That is like text book perfect weight loss. Wow, what a difference using actual math makes!

So, in fact, I have done totally great for my first whole week of the new year. I needed to be realistic. That is the tip of the day. I would have told anyone else to celebrate even a single ounce of weight loss. Don't be so critical of yourself. My new New Year's resolution is to appreciate my awesome body more. Be less terrified of the numbers. This was a good week, but there will be plateaus, and there will be bad weeks.

5 Golden Rules

     I have tried every strategy under the sun to lose weight. Most of the things I tried were really unhealthy, unsavory, and ineffective. I have a lot to say about all of my crash diets and extreme weight loss schemes, but today I am sharing what I consider to be the 5 core strategies that lead to long term health. This is the foundation of my healthy lifestyle.

     For the record, I am not a doctor. If you find a suggestion questionable, don't use it. This content is meant to be inspirational. I have no professional or educational credentials. All my information is based on life experience, lots of reading, and making shit up. Experiment with these tips at your own risk.

     After returning from my honeymoon in June of 2012 twenty pounds heavier and just as far as ever from my goal weight, I took a step back and analyzed my history of dieting. Twice before I had had semi-successful weight loss. When I was 17 I lost over 40 lbs and when I was 21 I lost 65 pounds. Luckily for me, I have been a tenacious journaler my whole life. I went into my archives and read all about what I was doing and eating, and how I was feeling (and who I dated, and crappy poetry, and ugly gossip, and so much teenage angst). Based on this empirical data, I came up with my plan.

1. Write it Down
     Write down everything you put in your mouth, all the daily activity you do, your weekly weigh in results, how you feel, who you're dating, crappy poetry, etc. It is quintessential (essential to the 5th power). All of the major diet programs have a food journal policy, I.E. Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, L.A. Weight Loss. Bob and Jillian make The Biggest Loser contestants write down what they eat and track calories burned with a body bug. The great Tony Horton of P90X fame encourages his followers to record their number of reps done, weight used, and take frequent pictures of their half naked flexing bodies. It is all about staying accountable to yourself, being aware of your habits, and tracking your progress.

2. Drink Water
     Or Die. I aim to drink 3 Liters of water a day. I worked with a woman who lost 20 lbs just by cutting out soda and replacing it with water. She said she played video games for a few hours each day and would swig from a gallon of water while she loafed. Is that not the easiest sounding life change you've ever heard of? I like to drink water at work. A dear friend's mother once gave me a precious pearl of wisdom. She said there is nothing better than getting paid to use the restroom. So drink up while you are watching the clock, and then pee frequently on the company's dime.

3. Exercise
     Hate to break it to you, but you have to exercise. If you diet and don't work-out you can still lose weight, but you will still look fat. Exercising will make you look good, which is the most valuable part of losing weight. You don't have to go full ham right away. Do what you can. Do what you like. Do it with a buddy. I'll tell you what I do when I don't feel like working out. I put my tennis shoes on. That is really half the battle. Once your tennis shoes are on, your feet will figure you might as well go for a walk. It also helps to own lots of really cute work-out outfits. There are days that the only reason I shave is so I can wear a cute outfit to the gym. Plus there are so many things to be self conscious about when you are working out in front of people; your clothes shouldn't be one of them. I am getting off topic. The point is you need to move. My standard is an hour a day 5 days a week.

4. Cook 
     Eating out is the devil. The food you get at a restaurant is full of added sugar, sodium, and other garbage. When I eat at home, I eat whatever I want. If i can cook it or bake it, I can eat it. It is really important to note that you have to make it from scratch and still follow recommended serving sizes. Buying a Stouffer's Lasagna is the same thing as eating out, and eating a whole homemade lasagna is obviously not what I mean. Plus eating out is crazy expensive. This chick from choir had a mantra for this, "Save money, save calories". Look up recipes, get creative, use lots of spices, and eat what you want. I do try to observe a few other dining principles, but the core of my diet is that I eat at home.

5. Stay Motivated
     Don't give up. Positive thinking is just as much a part of this as diet and exercise. Why are you trying to lose weight? Think about that. I'm vain, so I did it to be really really ridiculously good looking. Reward yourself for each and every accomplishment. I normally treat myself to beauty treatments, clothes, or alcohol. Look at things that inspire you. Read weight-loss memoirs, watch fit t.v., make a thinspiration board on pinterest. Most importantly, when you have a set back, start over right away. You have the opportunity to change your behavior each second. Don't say I'll be good tomorrow, say I'm gonna wipe the oreo crumbs off my shirt and make the rest of this day good.

An introduction

     My name is Emily, and I used to be really fat. I was born fat. When 12 pound baby Emily pushed her way out of the womb, she dislocated mother's hip. I went on to be a chubby child, an overweight teen, and an obese young adult.
   
     When people ask how long it took me to lose the weight, I am uncomfortable assigning a strict time line because I have spent my whole life working at this. It is the same thing when I try to explain how I got so fat in the first place. I have a detailed self-analysis I'll get into later, but it is not an easy answer. My issue with weight was a compilation of genetics, poor food culture, depression, a sedentary lifestyle, and a laundry list of other factors.

     Onto this blogging business. Why am I going to post my success(es) on the internet? Firstly, I made a resolution to begin writing again this year. I read an essay in college that has stuck with me over the years. The author (whom's name did not stick) said, and I'm paraphrasing, you can't call yourself a writer if no one is reading your shit. So thank you. Just now, by you reading this, I became a writer. Just like when a bell rings, an angel gets its wings.

  This segues into my second reason, and explains the title. I am writing this for attention. I did something really hard. I lost loads of weight. Positive attention is a huge motivator. What is the point in looking so good if no one is noticing? I've got this big FAT ego, and it needs to be fueled. I like to be reminded frequently how inspiring I am, how sexy I look, and how cleverly I write.

     I am writing to inspire. I looked at loads of weight-loss blogs to stay motivated. Friends and family, and even strangers are asking how I did it. Now I have a place I can share my whole life-long weight loss journey. I'll tell you what diets I followed, what I do at the gym, and what I eat. I'll give reviews of products I've tried and books I've read, and I'll share many amusing anecdotes and weight-loss foibles.

     Finally, I am writing to stay motivated. I still have weight to lose. After that, I'll have a whole life-time of keeping it off. Statistically, over 50% of obese people, who get to a healthy weight, gain it back. I invented that statistic, but I reckon it is something like that.

    By now I hope you are hooked. You're nodding your head and thinking, I want to know this girl. I want to hear what she had done, and let her inspire me. I will always try to indulge your curiosity. Full-disclosure. Shameless pandering. Gratuitous self-promoting. Here are the facts you will need to paint the full-picture of the type of former fat girl you are dealing with. My highest weight was 265 pounds. I reached that number twice. Once when I was a sophomore in college and again when I was 40 weeks pregnant. I am 5'9, and I have a large frame (I am legit big boned). Even with that much weight on me, I could squeeze into a size 18. As of new years day 2013, I am at 187 lbs, and I am squeezing into a size 10. Being tall comes with some advantages.

     Below I have posted some really humiliating pictures of myself. I promise more to come. I have loads of really shit photos. Why couldn't I have been one of those fat girls who refused to let anyone take her picture?  I figure later, when you're reading about my awesome lifestyle and getting really jealous and feeling resentful rather than motivated, you can refer back to my fatty photos and take comfort. Likewise, you may be thinking, this girl ain't that skinny. These will be good for comparison. Look how far I've come!

This was at my 7th birthday. I'm next to my fit mom salivating at my cake.

Here I am at 15. 240 pounds. I hate it. HATE IT.

And here I am age 22 and about 33 weeks pregnant. Cute pregnant belly? I think not.










You should be feeling so good about yourself right now! Really inspired! I am. I am literally going to get off the computer and exercise off some of my feelings from looking at these old pictures. Next post will be "The Skinny on How I got Skinny".